| Teacher's Jokes | |
|---|---|
| Why did the girl take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains! |
Emily - Class 4 |
| What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke! |
Kate - Class 4 |
| What did the big telephone say to the little telephone? You’re too young to get engaged |
Rosa - Class 4 |
| Why did the man throw his clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly! |
Mollie - Class 4 |
| What did the big candle say to the little candle? I’m going out tonight! |
Rosa-Class 4 |
| What did the scarf say to the hat? You go ahead and I’ll hang around! |
Joe- Class 4 |
| What did Jack call his cow with 2 legs? Lean beef! What did Jack call his cow with no legs? Ground beef! |
Rachel - Class 4 |
| What do you do if the M6 is closed? Go up the M3 twice! |
Katy - Class 3 |
| What type of motorbike laughs? A Yamaha ha ha! |
Anon |
| Why did the soap stop tap dancing? Because he kept falling in the sink! |
Anon |
| Two biscuits were crossing the road. One got run over! What did the other one say? Oh crumbs! |
Anon |
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| Teacher responsible | Definitely not Miss Macdonald |
|---|---|
| A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out and touched the rabbit and said, “You’re soft and fuzzy with floppy ears. You must be a rabbit!” The rabbit reached out and touched the snake and said, “You’re slimy and beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a maths teacher!” | |
| “David,” said a weary Mr. Beer, “if you had seven pounds in your pocket, and seven pounds in another pocket, what would you have?” “Someone else’s trousers on!” |
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| Dad: What did you learn at school today, son? Son: I learned that those sums you did for me were wrong! |
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| Mother: Do you know a girl named Millie Park? Daughter: Yes, she sleeps next to me in maths. |
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| Girl: Mum, you know you’re always worried about me failing maths? Mother: Yes. Girl: Well, your worries are over. |
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| Teacher responsible | Mr Beer |
|---|---|
| Mr. Beer: Rosa , put some more water in the fish tank. Rosa : Why, Sir? I put some in yesterday and he hasn’t drunk that yet! |
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| Mr. Beer: You missed school yesterday didn’t you! Steven: Not very much, no! |
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| Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake! |
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| Mr. Beer: Does anyone know who broke the sound barrier? Kate: I never touched it! |
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| Pupil: This egg is bad. Dinner lady: Don’t blame me, I only laid the table! |
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| Mr. Beer: What’s a wombat? Lucy: Something you play Wom with! |
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| Dad, we’re collecting for a new swimming pool at school. Hang on, I’ll get you a glass of water! |
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| Dinner Lady: It’s very rude to reach over the table for the salt, haven’t you got a tongue in your head? Pupil: Yes, but my arms are longer! |
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| Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year? Twelve, Sir – 2 nd January, 2 nd February, 2 nd March…! |
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