| Brilliant...Stunning...Side- splitting......'Crackers' is the word you're searching for. | |
| Q. Has anyone caught an Abominable snowman? A. Not Yeti! |
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| Q. What's white and fluffy and swings through the trees? A. A meringue-utang! |
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| Q. Why do toadstools grow close together? A. Because they don't need mushroom! |
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| Q. Where does Tarzan get his cloths from? A. A jungle sale! |
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| Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts? A. He got tired of the hole business! |
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| Q. What do you get if you cross a big green monster with a fountain pen? A. The ink-redible Hulk! |
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| Q. Which country has the largest appetite? A. Hungary! |
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| Q. What does a polite mouse say? A. Cheese and thank you! |
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| Q. Why wouldn't the bike stand up for itself? A. It was two tyred! |
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| Q. Who has antlers and investigates crime? A. Inspector Moose! |
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| Q. Which bird can lift heavy objects? A. The crane! |
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| Q. What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool? A. It had mittens! |
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| Q. How do you make a band stand? A. Hide all the chairs! |
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| Q. What is tall and wobbly and stands in the middle of Paris ? A. The Trifle Tower ! |
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| Q. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm an iron. A. That sounds like a pressing problem! |
Joe's favourite jokes (aged 6)
Patient: Doctor,Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together,man!
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Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a bridge.
Doctor: What's come over you, man?
Patient: 1 motorbike, 3 cars and a Lorry!
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isobel.
Isobel who?
Is a bell better than a horn on a bicycle?!
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Anna's Favourite jokes (aged 4)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
That's right, Doctor Who!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
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What do you call a deer with no ears?
Anything you like, it can't hear you!
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What goes black, white, red, black, white, red, black, white, red...?
A sun-burnt penguin rolling down a hill!
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Sarah's favourite joke (aged 39)
What is green, furry, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A pool table!
(sorry!)
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| Call ' Doctor, Doctor...' |
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| Did you hear about the Life guard who refused to save the Hippy, he was too far out! | There was an inflatable boy that went to an inflatable school one day he took a pin to school, his inflatable teacher said to him
“look here, you’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down but worst of all, you’ve let the whole school down.” Maddy age 8
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| Whats yellow and smells like Blue Paint? Yellow paint. Chris aged 56 |
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| Did you here about the man who lived in a Tyre. | It got a puncture, he now lives in a flat! |
Mollie’s favourite jokes : Age 10
Who invented the first aeroplane that couldn’t fly?The wrong brothers! ! !
An absent-minded professor went to have supper with a friend. There was a terrible snowstorm that evening, and towards midnight the professor’s host suggested that he should stay the night because of the bad weather.
“Thank you,” said the professor.“I’ll just pop home for my P.J.’s and toothbrush! ! !"
A very old man was celebrating his birthday at Hambrook Meadows. A young interviewer from Chichester Observer came to ask him questions: “How do you account for the fact that you have lived so long?” She asked.
“I reckon it’s because I was born such a long time ago,” said the old man.
A boy came home from Chidham school and told his dad:” Mr. Beer says I need a new pair of football shorts for gym.”
“Tell Mr. Beer that Jim can get his own shorts!”
How do you make a sausage roll?
Just give it a push!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road?
To visit his flat mate.
Why did the other hedgehogs friend cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the chicken.
Please send all your jokes for the web site