Corn found on Village website
(inspired by the Chichester Observer – Feb 12th )

Farmer O. MacDonald has been arrested on suspicion of hacking into the village website to plant corn, after his tractor got stuck in his USB port.

'I don't know what all the fuss is about, ee ay ee ay oh', said Farmer MacDonald.
He said he was just trying to diversify out of livestock into arable because having only one of each animal had not proved a successful strategy, he was partially deaf from the raucous noise of all his different animals, and besides, he said, ‘there's a lot of corn on the internet, or so my sons tell me'.

His business strategy was based around the assumption that it would be a lot cheaper to grow computerised corn, and then bake digital loaves to sell at the farmers market.
He was sure it would be 'virtually' impossible to tell the difference.
Rather than marketing his loaves as organic, he planned to stress their low calorie, low salt, low fat, low carbohydrate content.

On the strength of his business plan, he had had no difficulty securing a staggeringly large bank loan from a bank that has has now virtually gone bust.

Asked whether he could have been planning to plant oats or barley, Farmer MacDonald said he had already sown all his oaties, and had barley made a profit for years, so it definitely had to be corny.

In case you are wondering about the Chichester Observer story - here you are.